I'm selling the piano that got me through it all.

It is a good thing.

I acquired this piano when I lost everything. When I escaped the marriage in April 2020, I did so at 3 a.m. I walked out, took nothing, and never spoke to him again.

At the final court hearing, the judge ordered all of my belongings be returned to me.

To date, none of it has been.

When I say I lost everything, I mean all of it. I lost all of my music that was recorded on laptops that were never returned, my artwork that I'd created and that I'd collected over ten years, my childhood journals (from when I was a child), my high school yearbooks (from when I was in high school), my Bachelor's degree (from when I was in college), every knick knack from traveling, all pictures, all autographed books from my author friends and acquaintances and recognizable stars.

It took a long time to let it all go, to accept that that's who he was the whole time and it's good I escaped, to not be angry about it anymore, and to remember that all things are temporary. All.

I'm there now.

When I got this piano in March 2021, after purchasing a giant castle home that was in severe disrepair with zero money to fix it up, while still in the midst of a global pandemic, this piano felt like a single light beam of optimism.

It was enough.

It took...a while...but now I am performing for the holiday season in various locales on incredible pianos, I am almost done with the renovations, and I'm happier than I have been in a long, long time.

Incredibly, friends have been sending me the art work I have been missing. Dave Schroeder is the author of several sci fi series, and he sent me his autographed books to replace the ones I lost. Wayne State is sending me a replacement Bachelor's degree certificate. I have tall walls, perfect to showcase artwork, so I am slowly covering the walls with my friends' talent and prowess.

But what of the piano?

Well, I am playing on a variety of pianos now. And I'm noticing the differences in touch, tone, vibrancy.

This is not a situation where I'm thinking, "Maaaaaan...everybody's piano is better than mine!".

No.

My piano is literally 100 years old. It needs a lot of work to get it tiptop. It squeaks when you press the sustain pedal. There's some kind of ringing that happens when you play in the higher octaves.

When I got the piano, I didn't care about any of that. I was so happy to have an instrument that I could play at 2 a.m. that, well, I played my piano at 2 a.m. and felt joy unmatched. Not only was it a piano I could play anytime I wanted, it was a Detroit made piano, made in the city of grit and determination and hustle. I incorporated all the Detroit piano sounds into my recordings, so there is no doubt that I am the composer of those pieces. Few would dare to record Bach or Aretha pieces with such noises in the background.

When I started playing on other people's pianos regularly, I realized that I needed an instrument that allowed me to develop new skills and expand what I can do. My current instrument was not doing that anymore.

The other thing is, I'm getting paid well for my work, which IYKYK:

There's a big cycle that goes with that--when you're paid well for your work, you have the wiggle room to take classes, which makes you even better at your job which helps you get paid more, and round and round it goes.

It feels good in the bones to make this transition. I'm excited to see which piano I will grow with next. I'll keep you posted in this process.